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Fu*k is Fine but Pl*b is Out of the Question.

25/9/2012

3 Comments

 
A very British furore has been entertaining people of the U.K. for the past few days.  Briefly, the matter concerns a Conservative Party Chief Whip who, (for the sake of overseas readers unacquainted with some of the more bizarre aspects of what we are pleased to call a modern parliamentary democracy) is one of those people whose actual job it is to persuade, cajole, bully and utterly terrify members of the party into voting for favourable motions.  They are called “Whips” for a very particular reason.

The Whip, Andrew Mitchell by name, found himself barred from riding his bike through the gates of Downing Street. (Gates, which incidentally, appeared one morning during John Major’s premiership in order to prevent people from walking down the street – a practice which had hitherto been uncontested for around two-hundred years).  Anyway, the police on duty asked Mr. Mitchell to wheel his bicycle through one of the smaller gates at the side of the main ones, a request to which he appears to have taken offence.

Apparently, he was of the opinion that exiting through a side gate was beneath him and he told the police this in no uncertain terms.  He harangued and swore at them for several minutes (an act for which any lesser mortal would have been banged up and no mistake).  He allegedly called them “morons” as well but the thing which has caused the most offence was his contention that the police were “plebs”.

Now, the word “pleb” is pure Public School, by which (again for non-British readers) we mean a private school.  No space here to explain what this all means but suffice it to say that practically the entire Cabinet consists of former public schoolboys; in other words, the sons and heirs of the "Ruling Classes".  Amongst the public school elite, a pleb is a member of the lower classes - someone who works for a living, (a fact which of itself renders them less useful to society).  It derives, of course, from the Latin, “Plebeian” – a member of the non-aristocratic classes, higher up the social scale than slaves but of no rank - and being Latin for the lower orders, it has the added attraction that the lower order British would not have come across this term, since Latin was taught only in public schools for many decades.  The idiots, you see, don't even know they're plebs!

Although in reasonably common usage amongst the ruling class, few would dare use such a word in public nowadays and this is Mitchell’s real offence.  Not that he used the word so much as that he used it within earshot of someone who would not have heard it used, much outside of Downton Abbey.

Mitchell made it clear that the term was at the very heart of his (and every public schoolboy’s) vocabulary

But for me, Mitchell's denial spoke volumes. At first he denied that he had called the police “fucking plebs” but later retracted this, admitting that he said “fuck” but not the word “pleb”. So, deliciously, “pleb” now wields more political power than the word “fuck”.  I’m reminded of the wonderful line in Armando Iannucci’s practically faultless political satire, “The Thick of It” where Malcolm Tucker, Downing Street fixer, responds to a repeated knock on his door with,

“For fuck’s sake, come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off!”  Had he added, “…you pleb!” it might have proved too much for the BBC censors.

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