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Homophonophobia

9/11/2013

1 Comment

 
Homophones can be a problem in a society that doesn’t read.  Some common  ones (which many of us will have seen) may be forgiven: compliment and complement are often confused and in a variety of permutations of meaning; although I’m less tolerant of principle and principal, whose meanings are so similar that confusing the two can have… implications.  “A principal I always adhere to…” could receive more raised eyebrows that the prepositional abuse might warrant.

One would hope that even were a writer to perpetrate such errors, a decent editor would pick them up so I was astounded when my wife showed me a line from a book, published by Pan Macmillan, whose author is a "widely acclaimed" writer with some fourteen books in print.  It reads (if memory serves),
"...the moonlight fell across her taught breasts..."

One wonders just what it was they were learning.

When I posted this on a well-known authors’ site, one comment was, “Typos will sometimes creep in”.  I responded that in my view, this was no typo but a severe misunderstanding of the word in question.  To mistake taught for taut is such an astonishing gaffe, one wonders that editor is still employed; perhaps he/she isn’t any longer but many others are.

I have seen, for example, references to “easedropping”, which I assume was what the writer/editor believed the word, “eavesdropping” to be; and a recent article in The Independent assured readers that a party was “held in a marquis on the lawn…”  Very accommodating of him. 

Whenever I notice an issue in my own work that has escaped the net, I am livid with myself and rush out a new edition immediately.  Mostly, they are missed commas or speech marks (although there was one severe grammatical faux pas that I can’t bring myself to admit to here!) Never have I got a word “wrong” in the way I’ve described and the prospect of paying for someone to edit my book and still be worried about gaffes would be too much to bear.

1 Comment

When is a Finished Book Unfinished?

16/3/2013

1 Comment

 
Well, faithful readers who keep coming back here even though I haven’t posted anything for weeks.  I must be doing something right; though God alone knows what.  It’s been so long since I was able to make any sense of the way the world operates that I think this may be what dementia feels like.  Either that or this is still the seventies and I’m on the mother of all acid trips.

Take the other day, for instance:  I thought I was reading a newspaper article that was telling me that, as a promotional wheeze, Waterstone’s are commissioning authors to write an extra chapter in their books.  This final denouement will be available only to readers who buy those books in the store.  Anyone buying the book elsewhere will discover that they have bought, in effect, an unfinished novel.

I know!  That’s what I thought too! 

It seems some bright spark at Waterstone’s had noticed that certain music outlets offer bonus tracks on downloads and CDs so why couldn’t the same thing apply to novels?  Naturally, this set me thinking, just as it’s done to you, of all those books that could have benefitted from that extra chapter. 

Then I recalled the paperback version of Anthony Burgess’s “A Clockwork Orange”, which had the last chapter of the original version omitted in order (I’ve always believed) to comply with the film’s rather bleak and less nuanced approach towards mindless violence.  Burgess wanted to say that the violence of Alex and his droogs was a result of social conditioning, whereas Kubrick wanted us to believe that violence is an innate and immutable part of the human condition.

Violence may or may not be an immutable part of the human condition but sure as sunrise, the desire to sell books at any cost most certainly is; even if that cost involves bolting on a bogus ending in order to appease the paymasters.

Surely a book is only finished when it’s finished?  If it isn’t finished, then it’s not finished and it needs more words in order to finish it; and then THAT is the book the author wishes the reader to read.  Either the book that Waterstone’s customers buy is going to be one that has a superfluous chapter, (and if so, what’s the point) and the one that the non-Waterstone’s customer buys is unfinished.  I really don’t understand promotion. 

Anyway, I’m off to buy a shirt from Marks & Spencer.  Apparently, as a promotion, they’re doing them with three sleeves instead of the two you get everywhere else.

1 Comment

Covered in Confusion.

27/10/2012

3 Comments

 
Ever had a little cut on a little finger?  You think it won't matter but throughout the day you catch it over and over again and it's only then that you realise how much you actually use it.  Having not internet is a bit like that.  Even when you think you don't use it that much - I don't watch movies, I don't download bucketloads of stuff, I don't do a great deal of online shopping and I certainly don't read e-mails unless I have to - you still feel bereft when it isn't there.  The last couple of weeks have seen my broadband service stagger, cough, collapse and resurrect itself over and over again but at such irregular intervals that one is never sure when its going to be on.  Its particularly irritating at the moment because, against all reason, the Rothko Room is complete to my satisfaction and will be proof-read by my wife and daughter over the next week or two.
Then I'll want to publish it.  I have no intention of hawking it around agents and publishers because I know they'll hate it and I might just have a change from Lulu this time and go with CreateSpace.  And then I'll set about promoting it in various places.  I'm sure you realise where this is going....
How can self-publishers operate without a reliable internet connection?  The answer, I'm certain is, "They can't".  Without the web, the whole process is utterly impossible and so I am hoping that when the engineer turns up on Thursday, he or she will be able to sort me out.
No doubt I'll have to submit myself to the humiliation of trying to explain why my phone lines still use hardware dating back to the 1950s and why one of the cables runs down from a bedroom window and into my study and probably get charged as though by a wounded rhino for the privilege but what choice do I have?
Anyway, I begin my promo here by asking my loyal readers to comment on the covers I've been working on. Below is a selection in chronological order.  The cartoon drawings are to give it the sense that it is a dark comic spy caper but I much prefer the simple ones myself.  Any ideas how I can stress the comedy but keep the darkness?
Do let me know what you think.


Picture
Picture
3 Comments

Copy, right? Wrong. Cover Yourself (geddit!!??)

1/8/2012

2 Comments

 
As many of you know, I have a thing about copyright.  So many new writers ignore it at their peril.  I just wrote this exchange into my latest story:
‘Thank you so much, Mr. Beasley,’ she said to him.  I hope you got what you wanted.’
‘We seldom get what we want,’ he told her. ‘But I think, as a friend of mine once said, we may have got what we need.’
This is, of course, a reference to a song by the Rolling Stones.  Now, Keith and Mick have not survived in the music industry by being free and easy with their lyrics.  Being "The Greatest Rock Band in the World", it is not unreasonable to expect The Rolling Stones to employ, if not the greatest, then certainly some of the most effective lawyers in the world. Anyone who is foolish enough to think they can get away with wholesale quotations from popular songs is deluding themselves into a very very damaging lawsuit.  As my usage is not a direct quote, I think I should get away with it but don't be surprised if when you read my wonderful new, exciting and darkly comic spy caper, "The Rothko Room", you do not come across even the above passing reference to "You Can't Always Get What You Want' (Copyright Jagger/Richards. 1969. All rights reserved).
The same goes for covers. The covers of both my published books comprise nothing but images created by my own fair hand. If anyone's interested, this is how I did it.  
Picture
This is the cover as it now appears (click to enlarge if need be) but since I possess only limited charm and modest funds, It was unlikely that I would be able to persuade someone to stand on the side of a mountain in the middle of the night whilst, a mile away, another willing volunteer skis away, leaving neat tracks in the pristine slopes.So how was it done? Well, the first thing to do was to raid my holiday snaps.


I took this photograph (1) about four years ago on the slopes of Diavolezza in Switzerland.  Since this is where part of the novel is set, I thought it apposite.  I snapped it just as a party of cross-country skiers had crested a high ridge. You will notice a distinct lack of a) the moon and b) a figure.  The sharp-eyed amongst you will notice that it appears to have been taken in daylight.  Well done. 
The first thing to do was to colorize it on PhotoShop(Copyright Adobe Systems 1989-2011) (2)
.  This is embarrassingly easy and creates instant night scenes.

Then I fished out another photo I'd taken high on the Julier Pass, again in Switzerland, of the full moon
This required rather more jiggery pokery to get the effect I wanted.(3) I had to enhance the moon enormously, cut it out and then insert it in a suitable place on my master sheet.(4) It still needed a bit more finessing since the altered moon had too much of an unreal appearnce.  I settled for somewhere between the two.

The next thing it needed was a figure.  In the story, the hero, David Benedict searches the mountains for his lost love (yes, I know; it's very moving) and so I needed a picture of him.  The main problem in getting him to pose for me was that he is merely a figment of my fevered imagination.  So I needed a stand-in. Again, my holiday snaps were enlisted.  I found a shot of a frozen lake in Silvaplana, south-west of St. Moritz which had been spoiled (not the lake, the picture) by a skier gliding into shot at just the wrong time. (5)  Of such serendipitous strands are our little lives fashioned.  With a bit of help from PhotoShop (Copyright, Adobe Systems 1989 - 2011) I was able to make a passable David Benedict, who I then inserted into the picture.  I added a suitable shadow and there it was. (6) All that was then needed was to crop the picture to a suitable paperback aspect ratio, add the text and that was it.
Now whether or not it's a good cover is debatable.  I happen to like it but that doesn't make it good.  I was told by someone in the business that it was too individual - ie:  in order to have impact, your cover should look as much like the cover of a book with a similar story as possible. 
I'm certain they are right.  If I was do it again, I might aim for an Ian Rankin/Val McDermid kind of feel, although "Head Count" is a more humourous work than that of either of those two authors.  I need to get my hands on a couple of good, darkly comic whodunnits and see what their publishers come up with.  





Picture
(1) Mountain ridge on Diavolezza
Picture
(2) Colorized
Picture
(3) Fiddling with the moon (Original on left)
Picture
(4) Moonrise on the mountain.
Picture
(5) Skier gets into shot
Picture
(6) Skier gets plopped onto mountainside.
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